


Critical Hope

by LogicAngel



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Crying, Drama, I Made Myself Cry, M/M, Romance, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 11:23:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14401119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LogicAngel/pseuds/LogicAngel
Summary: Len goes to visit Kaito everyday at hospital.





	Critical Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Uh well, this is my first story I write in English. I hope everything it's okay, if not I apologise 

Like every day, I always go to visit him when I'm leaving school. This time I did not have to forget to bring flowers; he always told me that it was not necessary to take them away because they made him feel more dead than he already was. Even so, I would not resist and buy a bouquet of red roses. For some time he knew that those were his favorites; I discovered it only by asking out of curiosity since I did not have conversation topics to give. He only replied that it was because he loves red, because in his home his parents always told him that that color represents the heroes.

There I'm going. With my white shirt unbuttoned on the first two buttons, revealing part of my neck. And in my dark gray pants I had my hands in the pockets of the respective garment. As it was noticeable, the classes had finished and it gave me a quite long time until the next day to do the activities that I like. But there would not be many, because spending time with who I love is above other things I used to do in my leisure time, when he was with me.

Following the path that would take me directly to my destination, I met the friendly florist who a couple of times (to avoid having to emphasize always) had gone through her store to buy the beautiful bouquet that I fondly put together for my beloved .

— Hey, Len! — She greeted me with a friendly smile while she stopped sweeping the sidewalk. —Look. Just this morning a neighbor came to leave me some crimson roses. It seemed like he does not have space in his garden.— I giggle several times. Her jokes are always so bad.

She guided me inside the place, where on the table rested the flowers that she was going to give me.

— They are perfect...— I murmured. She just smiled. — Thank you very much for everything, Teto.

— This time I'm not going to charge you. I already told you that those flowers were given to me by simple courtesy.

Even though I insisted that I wanted to pay her even a little, the girl would not let me. Although she is in her mid-thirties, she looks seventeen and still has the stubbornness of a six-year-old child.

With the backpack at my back and the bouquet of roses as color as the blood was in my right hand, I continue my way. I already knew the streets to get to the destination where I would meet my "half orange".

Remembering the state in which it is, makes me enter a huge depression, as before knowing it; where in that distant instance, I had the hopes distributed in each forest with trees with black leaves, and at the end of the road, Death smiled at me.

Not only my depression was like that. His was the same or even worse. I would like to assume that that is why we are so united. Our pieces are broken into more pieces, and we take the liberty to arm ourselves. That moment in which he said "I love you" was perfect.

Finally I had arrived. That great building that every time I visited it, I get a melancholy... I climbed the small stairs until I reached the glass door, which I opened outwards. Agh! What a mistake, it was towards the other side.

"They should at least put an open inward sign" that's what I thought in that little moment.

I stopped in front of a large table where it was reception. The same albino woman with violet eyes, smoking and reading what seemed to be a pornographic magazine, spoke to me without taking my eyes off her reading.

— The usual room.

I just wanted to tell her something, but I did not care at that moment.

»Room No. 850«

It indicated that on a plate above the door. I took the handle but someone opened abruptly from inside, colliding with me making both of us fall, including the roses, which were disarmed a little.

— Tsk...— complained, to get over me. Although he later regretted seeing who it was. — Oh young Len. I'm sorry, the boy does not feel well.

— What do you mean? — I ask anguished. The man made me get on my nerves. I do not want to think that something bad happened in my absence.

That Man. I take the roses and he spread them to me. Then he knelt down to take the kind of notebook that had fallen to the floor as well.

— Come in to see him.— And as quickly as he opened the door, he left.

I stood up, adjusted my clothes and entered. I saw him there, lying on that bed in every damn hospital room. Cautiously I closed the door behind me. I took off my backpack and left it in the usual chair.

I went to the vase to leave the roses. But I needed more time to do it.

— My prince... You came again.— He smiled at me in that way that I like. That form that causes me to kiss him until his breath runs out.

In response, I just shrugged.

— You should be studying at home.— As usual, he always scolded me. Some time ago he tried to confiscate my Play Station 4 for playing too much.

— I always study, it does not matter how much time--

— "I will do it" .— he finished saying the phrase that I always say.

I released a small, he laughs. Maybe the last one. Now in more freedom, I leave the flowers in the vase, my special person observed them, and I had the impression that he was smiling and wanted to say something, but he restrained himself.

— I would like you to stay here...— I said turning my back, because I did not want him to see how I started crying, again. Well, I was coming here, and I was crying. — Why of all the millions of people that exist in the world must be you? Does God envy my happiness? Is he waiting to see me suffer? Why can not it be a story like the Disney princesses?

— I'm sorry... I know I can not give you the life you always dream of. But still, I will always love you and take care from wherever. I will also ask for you to find your real love, someone who will know how to give you what I do not and, even, can be better than me...

It made me cry more. He really is stupid; but to that, he is the master. I started to laugh even though I was crying.

— What do you not understand? There is no one better than you, or another true love. There is nobody, only you! You even exceeded my expectations regarding the type of person I preferred.

I turned to face him. He also cried. But in spite of that, he maintained a constant smile.

With the step slower than that of a running turtle, I approached him and embraced him by the neck. My head let itself rest on his shoulder, where I allowed myself to mourn everything I wanted at that moment.

His arm went around my waist and with his other hand, Kaito took the trouble to entangle his fingers in my hair. So I could finish the task of mourning to lose it at some point in the future, with more tranquility.

As time passed, I stopped crying and I was able to have a more or less civilized conversation with him; in which he only started with a joke from him that even though I'm 18 I still act like a stupid capricious kid. But of course it was not my problem, even though he is a year younger than me, he has to act as the dominant one.

From one moment to another of laughter, he was silent; his gaze was lost and I despaired.

I knew well that in a hospital you should not scream, but I did not have time. I opened the door and yelled.

— A doctor, fast!

•Many hours later•

There was nothing to do. Neither I, nor the other people who accompanied me there.

I already knew that this day was going to come at some point, but I never imagined that two years would pass that quickly. I know very well that he would not like to see me this way, but what else can I do other than cry? There is still no method to bring the dead people back to life. No. It does not exist yet.

All the time since the doctors observed him and tried to help him, I did not let go of his hand. And now I do not want to do it despite being from his deceased body. I could not even stand up, which is why I was kneeling, crying on the bed on which lay the inert body of life.

— He could not go... Kaito had to stay with me...— I sobbed while I keep crying. That death made me weigh my soul.

Everything he wanted to do with me in the future was going through my mind: he wanted to hold me longer, he wanted to kiss me more often, hold my hand for longer, marry me, buy a house and live together, have a family. All those dreams that were there, inconclusive, with no one to fulfill them.

His brother consoled me, but still it was not enough. His friends, despite being equally destroyed inside, offered their condolences and supported me.

But tell me... How do you want me to be strong if you are not here to get up me when I stumble? And more now, that I have fallen into a well so deep that even with a rope they can not rescue me.

Please come back.

I make you remember? You said you would do anything for me because you love me.

So I want that... I need you to come back, and stay with me.

• • • • • One year after that incident. • • • • •

In a hospital not far from the city, a report was given of an event that had particularly impressed two families.

Patient: Kagamine Len.  
Date of death: July the twenty nine. Year two thousand and nineteen.  
Where was the body found?: It was found on the floor of his room.  
Observations: According to forensic doctors, his death was due to the excessive consumption of tobacco and drugs.

Despite this, the parents of the young person contributed that they did not know about this, since Len was a very healthy boy who detested alcohol, smoking and drugs. The father concluded that it could be because he needed something in his life...


End file.
